Old Friends

I have met and known a lot of people in my lifetime--a LOT of people. More than the average person I'm almost certain. In fact, I saw a statistic a few years ago that said the average American will have the opportunity to influence 10,000 people during their lifetime. I'm guessing I've already hit that mark.



But the interesting thing about that number, which seems outrageous on the surface, is that out of that number I can probably narrow down the list of good friends that I have had--and I mean the kind of friends that are lifetime members of the club; where neither distance nor time nor circumstances nor any of the other myriad incumberences of life--(which means I still have them) to a number that fits on my fingers without having to use any of them twice. And I don't know if that is a sad thing, a common thing, a remarkable thing.........It can make me melancholy if I'm not careful; and I'm not one given to melancholy thoughts.



My suspicion is that it is typical; that most of us go through life making friends who are really acquaintances when it comes right down to it. They are people we know; that we like to hang out with. They're fun and funny, but they are not the missing piece to the puzzle we are trying to find.They are not bad people, usually just the opposite. They are likeable and dependable. We can count on them in a pinch and we'll miss them when they're gone, but they will eventually go--never to reappear.



But that handful--that favored few who stick to our lives no matter what; those are the ones I've been thinking about lately. And most of the ones who are that for me were made while I was in college the first time, right out of high school. And it is Facebook, of all things, that has me in this odd sort of humor.



You see, about 2 or 3 months ago a reasonably large number of people form that time in my life started to show up on FB. Or, actually, we began to find out that we were all on there; most of us having been on there for a while. And the most important out of that handful I've been talking about are present. Some of whom I have not spoken with for 25 years until just recently. And it was as if we had only been apart for a few days. There was no discomfort; no uncomfortable silences or feeling out. We fit. Seamlessly. Effortlessly.



I wonder, how many people go through life without ever experiencing that. How many people live all their years isolated from the realization that those relationships must be guarded as stingily as their last breath. I wonder how many times I sat uneasily, aimlessly casting about in my own mind for an explanation for my restlessness--not realizing that it all pointed to the missing pieces that are those friends. The real friends I have made. The people whose influence has always been present in my life regardless of the miles or the years. The longing was real but the answer was given to me 25 years ago.



For me, there are 4 people who fit: one from my service days (which followed immediately after my college days, coincidentally); and 3 from college. I have had a chance to sit with 2 of them face-to-face since November and have chatted, messaged and spoken on the phone with the other 2. And in each circumstance there has been no need to try and reassociate or reconnect. The trust and comfort with each other was immediate. It is, perhaps, one of the most encouraging experiences of my life. It gives me a sense that life does not necessarily pass us by, oblivious to our needs or desires. My faith and my family sustain me, but these friends are vital to me both emotionally and spiritually. And I feel immensely blessed and fortunate to have found that out in the middle of my life. I fear that so many either never realize it, or find it out far too late.



Twenty-five years of life have made us different people to be certain, but our bond, which is a bond of love, has kept us the same. I believe melancholy is fed by yearning, and cured by recognizing our blessedness through our friends--the real ones; that diminutive number of people we need and love regardless.